Winternacht
by caveat lector
Summary: AU: Crona's life is tough: her mother uses her to experiment with drugs and even her own shadow thinks she's a bad person. It was horrible until Maka showed up. But nothing is forever, and Crona has to learn this the hard way. Oneshot, possibly twoshot.


**A/N:** This popped randomly into my head while I was telling **The High Lady Solaris** that she'd write a great Soul Eater fanfic. This is also good, since there are not enough Soul Eater fanfics out there yet!  
Crona is a girl here, because it didn't fit in my mind if he/she was a boy.  
I'm not sure whether or not Crona's feelings for Maka here are romantic or just those of friendship. You can decide that for yourself.  
I had originally named this 'Untitled' for lack of better ideas. However, I stumbled upon this song yesterday: () /watch?v=uYZVH6P6e7s&feature=channel_page ... I was reminded of this fic, for some reason.

One more thing: I know that Crona's thoughts are weird, but… well, she _is_ on drugs through most of this.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Soul Eater. If anything, Soul Eater owns me.

**Untitled**

Crona was walking. Walking, walking, walking. She was a little surprised, really, at how long her small six-year-old body could keep on going, especially with the Something that Medusa had put in her tea that morning. Maybe it was one of those Somethings that gave her more energy? That seemed likely.

She looked up. The cold winter sun seemed to be smiling at her. A cruel, sadistic smile; she hated it. She wanted it to go away. But if the sun went away, then there would be no more light in the world. And then the moon would be the only thing at the sky. That was okay. The moon was okay because it didn't smile at her and when things on the sky started smiling Crona got scared. It usually meant that Shadow was on its way. She didn't like Shadow, either. Shadow smiled as well.

Everything was smiling at her.

No, not the snow. The snow was just white. Maybe a little _too_ white for Crona's liking, but it wasn't smiling. She looked at it and almost sighed. But if she made a sound, then would the snow stop being pretty and white and quiet? Would it smile at her? She hoped not. Then she'd have to leave. It was enough that the sun was smiling. Soon, Shadow would show up, she thought, and stopped walking, waiting.

It was all white. Everywhere around her. The only things that were not white were her own footprints, grey due to the shadow the snow cast on the small holes left by her shoes…

Or maybe she just left behind grey footprints.

Why grey?

Why not blue? Crona liked blue.

Now that she looked at them, they did seem a little blue.

Grey-blue. And a little purple. Like a bruise.

"You always think about such violent things," said a voice next to her. She looked at the voice and yes: it was Shadow. Black Shadow, with its empty eyes and that empty smile.

Everything was always smiling at her.

"Sit down," Shadow offered. Crona looked at the snow and decided that it wouldn't hurt to sit down a little. She sat down, for a few moments intrigued by the feeling of how very very _cold_ the snow was. White and cold.

"Did you miss me?" asked Shadow With the Empty Smile. Crona shook her head. The smile faded, which made Crona a little happy. Just a little.

"Why not?"

"Because you always lie to me."

"Did I lie? About what?" Shadow tilted its head as it spoke.

"You always call me violent. But I only think about bad things when _you're_ here."

"But they're still your thoughts, aren't they? That still makes you the bad one."

Crona didn't respond to that. She just rested her chin on her knees and drew little spirals in the snow with her right hand.

"Crona," said Shadow. "What about Medusa?"

"… what about her?"

"Has she stopped making you take the Somethings?"

"Not yet."

"Do you think she ever will?"

"… No. Ragnarok says that she might stop if I make her happy and do what she wants me to do."

"But you don't know what that is?"

Crona shook her head.

"Shadow?"

"Yes?"

Crona looked at Shadow's empty eyes, and asked a question that had been on her mind for a while:

"… what's your name?"

Shadow's empty smile came back. "My name is Crona," it said.

"Oh… that's just like my name."

"It is."

Crona tilted her head. "I don't like that name," she said. "I'll just call you Shadow."

"But you just said that it's like your own name?"

"No. That's not my name. My name is Crona."

"So is mine?"

"No, your name is Shadow."

Shadow smiled again.

-

When Crona got home, she was tired. Too tired, even, to notice that she was getting snow all over the floor. Medusa told her that she was a bad girl and that she never caused anything but trouble. Ragnarok hit her over the head with his large hand. Then he pulled her hair while Medusa left.

It was late. Where was Medusa going?

Crona decided that she didn't really care. She was tired and her vision wasn't really all normal. That was Shadow's fault; Crona always felt bad after she'd talked to Shadow. It was actually a miracle that she'd managed to drag herself all the way home. Usually, after talking to Shadow, she'd just fall asleep and wake up feeling sick.

When Ragnarok had stopped being mean, he looked at her.

"Did Medusa put something into your breakfast?" he asked. Crona nodded.

"I saw her put Something into my tea," she said. "What about you?"

"No, nothin' for me today…"

Crona told him what Shadow had said and asked him if he thought she was a bad person. He shrugged.

"I don't know… we're all bad, I think."

"So I'm bad as well?"

"I think… I think you're worse, really."

"Because I think about bad things?"

"Yes. You shouldn't want to hurt people."

"You hurt me. You're bad as well."

Ragnarok laughed a little. It sounded weird. Crona didn't like it. "What?" she asked, frowning.

"I'm not as bad as you, though," he said. "I don't want to kill things."

She looked at her feet. "It's not that I want to kill things… I just want it all to go away. So I don't have to deal with it. Especially when things smile at me."

"But it has to die to go away, right?"

"… Maybe."

Then she fell asleep. Right there, on the nice, wooden floor.

And when she woke up, it was morning again. The first thing she did after getting up from the floor was to go to the bathroom and throw up. It left an ugly taste in her mouth, and the smell made her throw up again. Medusa walked into the bathroom and looked at her.

"I want to talk to you," she said, and Crona silently followed her into the living room. They sat on the blue couch. Crona liked blue.

"Can you remember what happened yesterday?"

Crona told Medusa what she'd told Ragnarok; about the sun smiling at her, about Shadow (and the things it had said to her) and about not really knowing how she'd gotten home. She even told her about what she and Ragnarok had talked about. When she was done, Medusa sighed and handed her a pill. "Take this, then go eat breakfast."

Crona examined the pill curiously before swallowing it; it was small, oval, and green. And it had a number on it: 1. Or maybe it was a letter. Or just a line.

It didn't taste green. It tasted more… orange. Or brown.

Then Medusa left to talk to Ragnarok. That usually meant that Crona was allowed to go outside alone. And so she did.

-

She didn't feel like walking. So she sat down in the snow in their backyard instead, and drew a small circle around her.

"This is my circle," she proclaimed. "It is mine and no one else can enter it."

In here, she was safe. Maybe Shadow would even stay away when she was in the circle. "I forgot to eat my breakfast," she added thoughtfully.

She agreed with herself that it was because she'd missed the snow when she had been asleep.

There was no sun today. That was nice. Nothing to smile at her. The clouds were grey and little snowflakes danced quietly down to her. She lifted a hand and tried to catch some of them. They all melted.

Crona sighed and hoped it wouldn't make the snow smile. The snow didn't smile and she decided that it was safe to sigh again.

Something was looking at her.

No, some_one_.

A girl. A girl about Crona's size (but not as thin). The girl was peeking from behind a nearby bush. When she saw that she'd been discovered, she walked up to the edge of the circle and looked at Crona.

"Why are you talking to yourself?" she asked.

Crona didn't answer. She just stared at the girl's feet and tried to telepathically tell her that she wasn't allowed to enter Crona's circle.

Crona looked up. The girl smiled. "My name's Maka," she said.

Crona looked at her again. She was still smiling.

Everything was always smiling at her.

"Go away," she told the girl, Maka, and looked away from her, focusing her attention on her own feet.

"Why? Are you sad about something? You seem sad…"

Maka was a strange girl, with her smiles and her questions.

"… I'm not sad."

"But you _look_ sad!"

"Go away."

"What's your name?"

"I said go away."

"I'll bet that's not your name," said Maka. Then she laughed. _Laughed_, of all things. Crona didn't like the sound. It was the sound of smiling. Just louder. Much louder, and it rang like an alarm in her ears, poking her brain with something sharp.

"My name's Crona," she said, just to make Maka stop laughing. "Go away."

Maka stomped her right foot into the snow. "But you look sad and lonely!" she said. "And you said you didn't have any breakfast! Come with me, you can eat something at my house!"

"I don't want to."

"Why not?"

"I'm waiting."

"For who?"

"For Shadow."

Maka looked confused. But of course, she hadn't met Shadow.

Then Maka did something very bad: she walked right into the circle and grabbed Crona by the wrist. "Come on, you'll have fun!" she said.

Crona was so shocked that she couldn't even say no, much less resist Maka's grip on her.

-

They walked for a while. On the way, Maka told Crona that she and her family were there on vacation and that she hadn't made any new friends yet. The house was Maka's grandmother's, and they were staying there until they were going home again.

When they reached the small house, Maka opened the door, stepped inside, and motioned for Crona to follow her. Crona did and Maka called for someone named 'mama' and 'papa'. Descending from a small set of stairs came a tall man in a black suit.

"Hi, Maka," he said. "Mama just left to go see a doctor about her cold. Is something wrong? It's not more than 15 minutes since you left?"

"I made a friend!" Maka yelled happily and 'papa' looked at them for the first time. He smiled at them and Crona shifted uncomfortably. She wasn't used to _people_ smiling at her; just things. And Shadow. "Her name's Crona and she hasn't had any breakfast!" Maka added, sounding outraged.

"Well, Maka, neither have you. You were so busy with finding new friends that you forgot as well."

"I DIDN'T HAVE BREAKFAST?!"

'Papa' shook his head, still smiling. "No," he said, "but if you want, I'll gladly make you two some waffles." Maka nodded furiously. Then 'Papa' turned to Crona, smiling even more than before. "It's nice to meet you, Crona."

"N-nice to... meet you too," she managed to stutter out. She noted that his hair was red. Maka's hair was blond, just like Medusa's. And her dress was orange, like the taste of the pill from earlier. 'Papa' went into what looked like a kitchen, humming happily.

Why were they so happy?

Maybe they had been given Somethings as well.

Crona decided that it was inappropriate to ask.

Instead, she asked Maka what she had been doing in Crona's backyard.

"I was looking at you. I saw you sit in that circle, talking to yourself, and you looked so sad... I thought I'd try to make you smile!"

"... I don't like smiling."

"Why?! Everyone likes smiling!"

"Not me..."

"Why not?"

"I don't know."

"Well," said Maka. "Maybe you'll smile when you taste Papa's waffles. My Papa makes the best waffles in the whole world!"

"... really?"

"Yes," stated Maka, matter-of-factly.

"Have you tasted all the other waffles in the world?" Crona asked, wide-eyed, and truly curious. Talking to Maka felt better than talking to Shadow. Especially because Maka didn't call her bad or violent.

"Well... no."

"Then how do you know?"

"I just do. You'll agree with me."

They talked about waffles for a while, and then Maka's Papa's voice sounded from the kitchen. He said that they could come eat now. They went out there, welcomed by the nice smell of the Best Waffles in the World.

Maka's Papa motioned for them to sit at the round table in the middle of the room, and they did. The table was blue. Crona liked blue. She also discovered that she liked Maka's Papa's waffles.

They really were the best in the world. They tasted better then snow looked.

Maka and Crona kept talking, the subject changing from waffles, to other kinds of food, to generally everything that they could think of talking about. Even princesses.

One time, Crona spotted Shadow on the wall next to her. Shadow wasn't smiling anymore; it looked sad. An empty tear rolled down its cheek, and Crona thought that she heard it ask a question:

"Have you forgotten me, Crona?"

Crona smiled.

-

She settled into a new routine.

Winter was changing into spring. Slowly, but surely, the snow was going away.

And every day, she would take the Somethings that Medusa gave her, and then meet Maka outside. They would take long walks together, have some of Maka's Papa's waffles, play in the snow, talk, draw, and... smile. They were smiling. Crona wasn't used to that, but Maka _made_ her smile, for some reason. Then, when darkness began to fall, she'd go home and talk about Maka. When Ragnarok bullied her, she would think about how Maka would never do anything like that.

But the best part was that Shadow had disappeared.

Completely vanished.

Shadow hadn't shown itself since that one time on Maka's wall in the kitchen.

One particular morning, Maka wasn't smiling when they met.

"What's wrong?" Crona asked, not liking it when Maka looked sad.

"I have to go home tomorrow..."

Crona's world fell apart.

-

Maka had gone a few days ago. Crona had been there when she left. Maka had given her a drawing that she'd made: Crona and Maka, holding hands, smiling. Maybe she'd never see Maka again...

Never.

Never ever.

"Do you miss her?"

Shadow was back.

Crona sniffled and nodded. "A lot," she said.

"You love her." That wasn't a question. She nodded again.

"You love her so much that you forgot all about me. That's mean. You've gotten even worse than before."

"... Go away, Shadow."

"My name's Crona."

"No... that's my name."

-

Crona looked herself over in the mirror. She frowned at the sight. Almost ten years had passed since she'd seen Maka, but she was sure that her friend wouldn't like the way she looked now: tall, skinnier than ever, purple-pink hair messed up and not long but not short either. A long, black dress with a white collar and white 'sleeves' hugged her skin closely. Her skin. It was almost grey.

She was sure that Maka was beautiful by now.

Medusa had told her that she'd gotten a job as a school nurse at a school called 'Shibusen'. Crona would be attending the school. She had been sent a list of all kinds of things. One of those things was a list of her classmates. A certain name had caught her attention: Maka's name.

Since then, Crona had been about to vomit from excitement every time she thought about school. The Somethings helped her think about other things, and so did Ragnarok's constant bullying, but still... to think that she'd see Maka again.

What had she done to be so lucky?

And it was today. Today. In a few hours from now she'd be there, maybe even talking to _Maka_.

It was a big day. Medusa had even given her more Somethings than usually. The Somethings made her head spin in a funny way. Shadow was looking at her, but didn't say anything. Didn't even smile. Neither did Crona. She hadn't smiled since Maka had left.

She still had the drawing.

-

"... Maka?"

"Crona? Crona! Is it really you?!"

"I-I-...I've missed you, Maka..."

"I've missed you too! How've you been? What are you doing here?"

"I moved here a few days ago... Medusa got a job here. How about you?"

"Oh, I'm doing great! Except, you know, that my parents got divorced. But other than that, I'm great!"

"... That's good to hear."

"Want me to show you around?"

"Sure."

-

They smiled.

Shadow wept.

-

It was just like back then: they smiled, talked, and laughed. Maka's Papa even worked at the school as well, and he hugged her and told her that Maka had been down for months after they'd been separated.

It made Crona happy that Maka had missed her, even if it was only for a few months.

-

"Medusa?"

"Yes?"

"... can I call you 'Mama'?"

"Absolutely not."

"Why not? Maka calls her mama Mama?"

"You're not Maka."

"Well, no, but..."

"But nothing."

"... why don't I have a Papa?"

"What's with those questions all of a sudden?"

"And why do you give me those weird Somethings?"

"Why are you asking all this?"

"... it's just..."

"What?"

"Maka has a Papa. And he never gives her Somethings."

"I don't think I like you seeing Maka."

"... why not? I love Maka..."

"She has a bad influence on you. I think we should move back."

-

Crona was sitting in the backyard. She had drawn a circle in the snow around herself, proclaiming that it was Her Circle and that only Maka was allowed to enter it. Of course, Maka wouldn't enter the circle; Crona was back in the old town. She hadn't even had time to say goodbye.

The drawing from so long ago was lying next to her, reminding her that someone had once cared. Someone other than Shadow, that was.

Shadow had been looking at her for a while, not saying anything, just smiling. When Crona let out a particularly loud sigh, Shadow actually laughed.

"I was all you needed, you know," it said.

"... are you going to leave me?"

"You know I can't."

"... I know."

"Do you want me to leave?"

"No. I want you to die."

"Really?"

"Yeah... you're the reason Maka isn't here."

"That's a lie."

"No it's not."

"... What's your name?"

Crona looked at Shadow.

"My name is Crona."

"That's just like my name."

"It is."

"I don't like that name... I think I'll just call you Shadow."

Crona smiled. "I'd like that."

-

**Untitled**

**A/N: **Strange, I know. I'm thinking about turning it into a two-shot and writing another chapter... Any thoughts?


End file.
